Not Tonight Honey, I'm exhausted

Last night I caught an episode of my favorite reality show “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” I’ve been addicted to this series since day one. Watching this show is like watching my family, all Italian, all the time. My least favorite housewife Danielle Staub was not asked back for this season and I was totally happy, I was hoping they would bring back Deena a housewife that left due to Danielle but no.

This season there are two new housewives Kathy and Melissa. They are both related to my favorite Jersey Housewife Teresa. Kathy is her cousin and Melissa is her sister-in-law. Teresa and her Brother do not speak and Melissa is kind of her enemy which of course makes me hate her right off the bat. Now some people may think that’s awful but after the first two episodes she did nothing to make me like her at all. Her husband Joey is a typical Jersey Guy, wants his wife to cook and clean, very 1950’s. Believe it or not she really enjoys it. She feels it’s her wifely duties, I don’t agree 100% with that but I grew up watching my Aunts, Grandmothers and other relatives live that life and I’ve never met more happier, caring women in my life. I have to admit it is amusing to watch the dynamic that these two reality stars have. Even though I don’t like Melissa I do enjoy their story line until last night.

Joey came home from work; he was exhausted like he is every day after work. He walks in and hugs his kid but when his wife goes to kiss him he turns his head. She says “are you still mad?” To which his response is “Yes, five days!” Apparently they haven’t been intimate because Melissa has been exhausted. I can imagine raising four kids, cooking, cleaning & doing laundry would make a person tired. Now she works all day doing all that and makes sure dinner is on the table for him, then bathes the kids, cleans up the dishes, tucks the kids in, all while looking amazing and then is expected to give it up every night.

I know Joey works construction but he owns the company, he does no actual construction work. So his day ends at five while Melissa’s ends after he’s done plowing her. The most interesting thing about this whole thing is Joey NEVER asked what was wrong with his wife, he only demanded the sex. He never found out what was wrong with his wife! This to me is ridiculous; asking a person what’s wrong would be the sensitive thing to do.

When did we all decide that because you work all day and come home to someone who spends the day doing a lot for you why is it okay to demand sex? I have a lot of respect for people who do that, it is what the women of my family did and I wonder were they also treated like that too.

I can’t imagine someone working all day long, then coming home and making sure the dishes are done and the house is straightened up to only made to feel guilty because you are not up to being intimate. Maybe if the other person cared more about the feelings and made the simple act of asking “What’s wrong?” They may find out why and not turn to anger or make comments about lake of sex. It may not be just exhaustion it maybe something deeper; pushing it may make it worse.

Melissa I don’t like you but I sure feel sorry for you…

Finally the Nightmare Blog

As many of you may know by my Facebook status updates I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. I made a very brief rant about it a couple blogs ago but never really got into it. Since I have read all the dream websites I thought there was no hope in finding out why I was having these nightmares. Every time I went to look up the meaning I got eight different answers, very much like the horoscope blog I wrote which I still believe to be true.

Last night was no different than the past month. I wasn't tired when Chris went to bed so I stayed up for another hour or so until I became sleepy. Now I know what you are thinking, you're having nightmares because you are staying up late and are exhausted. Not really, according to at least 8 out of the 10 stupid dream sights I've read being tired puts you into a deep sleep and nightmares don't generally happen. Also, the few times I've been exhausted the nightmares were less. I had a snack last night, I know "no eating before bed" but again sometimes I snack before bed and sometimes I don't and it doesn't make a difference. With all these statements you would think I have blown the cover off all the nightmare myths huh? But alas I have not but I had a revelation this morning. Now follow me if you can.

Awful nightmares all night, I was shaken up a couple times with some doozies, I tried turning the pillow over a suggestion by a Facebook friend to "change the channel" - didn't work. As Chris woke me up this morning at 7:30 I told him to wake me at 8:00...then a strange thing happened, I had a dream...no nightmare, a dream. Now this dream was weird but after I thought about it later it made sense. Here we go (Molly you will get a kick out of this one). I went to a former co-worker's house to buy a lamp that I have been looking for, for a while. It was a lamp that was circa 1975-1983ish; I was excited and couldn't wait to plug it in because I like how vintage lights look. Then I got the lamp home set it up in my bar/cabinet and went upstairs to bed to play with my second cat I just got from a friend. It was a fat cat that was purple skinned with red & orange long hair and a little smushed in face. It was actually very cute actually makes me want a cat that looks like that, apparently I had named it "Hippo Baby Kitty." Weird right? I thought I completely lost it when I though back until it all clicked! Okay here is why I think I had the dream this morning.

Last night I set up my speakers for my record player because I told Chris I love how records sounded, the vintage sound. Now for months I've wanted a record player I describe the record player I wanted to look 70's-80's-ish. Before I went up to bed last night I watched a Glee clip online of Brittany's Fondue-for-two where she interviews her cat, her fat cat - Lord Tubbington, which of course made me think of Molly McGrath's fat cat Bob that she wants me to take. All these things were in my dream different but in there! They were triggers to my mind eye. Did my mind say to me the nightmares you been having mean exactly what you see? Did it take this very obvious dream that was nice and didn't wake me with a jolt to make me see that? Do I know exactly what has triggered these series of nightmares? Yes, I know the exact time they started and I believe I know why...if my mind is trying to show me what's really going on then I guess I need to be guarded. Now that I know this maybe tonight will be a nightmare free night and it allow me to think about the past month's nightmares to find out what the hell is going on.

See hippo baby below, now image a more smushed in face with purple skin and that orange & red shaggy hair...oh yeah at remember it's a cat not a hippo :)

Doubt

Don't really have anything profound to say today but I was thinking about a monologue I did in the play Doubt...I played Father Flynn and I always loved this monologue.

Father Flynn: What do you do when you're not sure? That's the topic of my sermon today. You look for God's direction but you can't find it. Last year when President Kennedy was assassinated who among is didn't experience the profound disorientation, despair? "What now?" "What do I do?" "What do tell my children?" "What do I tell myself?" It was a time of people sitting together, bound together by a common feeling of hopelessness. Think of that, your bond with your fellow human beings was your despair. It was public experience shared by everyone in our society. It was awful but we were in it together. How much worse is it for the lone male, lone female suffering from a private calamity. "No one knows I'm sick." "No one knows I've lost my last real friend." "No one knows I've done something wrong." Imagine the isolation. You see the world as through a window, on one side of the glass happy, untroubled people on the other side you. Something has happened and you have to carry that. For those so afflicted, only God knows their pain, their secret. And when such a person as one does turns to the heavens and cries "Help me!" What if there is no answer? Silence. For those of you in Church today who know the crisis of faith I described, I have this to say to you. Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty, when you are lost...you are not alone.

Horoscopes. Are you like shoes?

I love reading horoscopes. Although they drive me up a wall sometimes, SOMETIMES!, they actually make sense. One looks at a facebook horoscope and it sends you into a panic attack because it says "it's time for a change." With what?!?!? Change of a job or change of underwear? Then panicked you go to yahoo, where it says "Wealth is coming your way, not a good time for a change." Um, didn't facebook just say change? Okay I'll look somewhere else. "Travel is good for you today" says another page and then the next says "stay inside today and relax." Which one do I believe?

I ask this question of my four followers: Do we search the horoscopes, try them all on for size and then choose the one that fits us best?

It's easy to tell the horoscopes to f-off but happens when it keeps you up at night thinking: "What the hell is the universe trying to tell me? And which universe is talking because I'm getting 8 answers a day!"

I would love to just stop reading them but then you get an idea in your head about issues and one horoscope shows you a glimmer of hope and then the next one squashes it!

For someone like me who tries to solve things internally looking at horoscopes usually helps, but I'm finding them now to be muddy. I've been told 100 times to look at yourself and you will find the answers, but honestly anyone who makes decisions but solely on looking at themselves is a big old fibber! Yes, I just said fibber. If someone only makes decisions looking at themselves how the heck can you weigh the pros and cons properly? I guess if answers were easy the universe would cross check each other and not send us all on a wild goose chase!

Gay Guys can have guy friends? WHAAAAT!?!?!?

I have a lot of friends, 80% of them are women and 20% of them are guys. The guys breakdown to 50% straight 50% gay. A lot of people always ask me how come I don't hang out with more of my "community members?" I have to say my "community" includes gay & straight...mostly straight girls :) It's not that I'm not into "community," I just find that the bulk of the people that are into "community" only hang out with other "community" members. They never let their circle grow bigger. That's just not me.

The second reason I tend to not surround myself with just "community" members is very simple, it is always assumed that when you are hanging out with a friend it means you must be sleeping together. I don't know how many times I've had to say "No, we are just friends, I'm allowed to have gay guy friends." I'm not single but my partner doesn't enjoy the bar scene as much as me, he would rather just relax at home and I enjoy a drink out. It doesn't mean that because we aren't out together something must be wrong and I'm sleeping with whomever I'm out with. For as much as a "community" is about friends it's the "community" that assumes the most.

Wow I kind of sound like a bitch huh? LOL. Oh well, that's what blogging is for right? To say what's on your mind. So in the the end, it is what it is...friends, not lovers...I mean look at me and my partner...do I look like I want to sleep with a twink? Also answer this question, a Bear and a Twink could marry but where would they register?

Records vs. CD's

I'm sitting here again late at night unable to sleep and I realize "JJ you didn't write a blog today."

Here's a little question for...well...the four of you that follow my blog: Records or CD's? I know we are in the itunes age but if you had your choice, what would you choose? I've always had a small collection of records lying around my house and for years I looked for record player. I always seem to find one that doesn't work or is missing parts, so the records just sit there, actually it's been so long they are sitting at my Mom's house. About a month ago I decided that this summer I was going to have an Italian themed party called a "Wopapalooza" and I thought "I need to hit the Salvation Army and City Missions to look for decorations."

One day my friend Steve and I were at a City Mission in Schenectady perusing various polyester bell bottomed pants when I noticed a rack of Records. I started pawing through them, lo and behold I hit the gold mine of Italian Records, I thought "Yes! Perfect decorations! Amazing!" This of course led to us going to every City Mission and Salvation Army from Schenectady to Saratoga. My record obsession was back. I forgot just how great records sound. I grew up in the 80's and records where the coolest thing to buy, I miss the days of Record Town :( After snagging some great records including Xanadu, Liza Minelli, Flashdance, Vicki Carr & Air Supply. I think the best thing about going through old records is you find recordings of songs you never knew existed, by the way, did you know Liza did a semi-disco version of "Dancing in the Moonlight?" It's crazy and amusing, now all I needed was a record player.

I searched Craigslist everyday but it seemed that every turn-table was a modern one. I wanted a 70's or 80's era record player. I never found it but I didn't really care, I could keep collecting records for the sheer fun of it. Then one day at a Salvation Army I came across an Anita Bryant record, I thought to myself "I have to have this one, it's ridiculous." Of course Steve was there and his eyes lit up and he exclaimed "OMG! An Anita Bryant record is that the one where she sings Over the Rainbow?" Yes people, Miss Anita Pie in the Face Bryant covered Over the Rainbow, kind of ironic huh? Of course it wasn't that album we found that day. My friend Steve said "It's super rare!" Now we were on a mission, we looked at every single record in every single store, we went from browsing to sheer obsession looking for this record. Side note, while were digging through boxes of records we discovered that there is at least 100 copies of the Doctor Zhivago record in the capital district, believe me we saw them.

It seemed like a lost cause. I know what people are thinking "Hey idiot God created Ebay for this reason!" I know but finding it on a shelf in a City Mission is so much better. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and turned to the internet. I thought I could download it on itunes or buy a CD recording of it but alas it did not exist. I began to think Steve must have been mistaken, but he insisted he heard Dan Savage, super gay columnist talk about it. Finally I turned to Ebay, I was worried that this "rare" record would cost an arm and a leg but like so many of life's searches in the end it was very anti-climatic, this "rare" record cost me $4 plus $2 shipping and handling. The day it arrived it was like Christmas but in all the happiness I realized "I still didn't have a record player!"  Insert sad trombone sound effect here.

Although the search for the record player ended up being easier than I thought, apparently Steve gave his friend one years ago and it was sitting in his attic. Insert Halleluiah sound cue here. Steve got it and I placed that needle on the record and that sound started. That scratching sound I hadn't heard in years, then believe it or not Anita Bryant's version of Over the Rainbow wasn't that bad. All in all I miss records and now I can at least hear the forgotten sounds of records that have sat in a Salvation Army for years, but now have a second life at 8 Steeple Chase.

Glee with me Sue Sylvester

I was going to write a blog about all the nightmares I've been having and all the dumb websites that tell me crashing a car means new things and breaking your leg means something stupid like wanting to take a vacation. A nightmare or dream should just mean what it is!

Before I sat down to write the "Nightmare" blog, I watched last nights episode of Glee online and then read my favorite recap blog on afterellen.com or afterelton.com depending on which site lists it. Let me just say this about the episode and the blog I read.

Last night's episode was about the Glee club preparing for nationals but most importantly and sadly the death of Sue Sylvester's sister. I have to say I always love Jane Lynch on Glee. I fell in love with her portrayal of Sue in the episode where we first meet her sister. Sue's sisters character has downs syndrome and in an amazing scene we see Sue's true self while she is reading a story to her sister. This episode made Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester one of the most popular on TV. It showed that she has, dare I say a "soft spot" for handicapped people. She even employs one of my favorite Glee characters Becky, a student who has down syndrome and Sue let join the cheer leading team The Cheerios. It also lead to so many funny scenes with both characters including my favorite where Sue is dressed up like the Grinch and Becky is dressed up like a Rein-dog, complete with a cute little black nose. So last night's episode really hit me hard and was a bit bittersweet. It showed Sue kicking Becky off the Cheerios because she reminded her of her sister. The Glee club comes to her rescue (well just Kurt and Finn at first) and plan her sister's funeral. Sue doesn't want to plan it because she was worried no one would come. Jane Lynch is truly amazing in this episode and the two moments where Jane shines is the first moment she tells the character Will Shuster that her sister has died and after being yelled at by Kurt, she goes to storm out before turning to admit she was worried no one would come. Each scene hit me and I truly believe that anyone who has ever lost anyone was effected by this episode. During her speech at the funeral Sue says she wants ten more seconds with her sister, is that too much to ask? She also says she will miss the simple things like the smell of her sister's shampoo. The Glee club performs "Pure Imagination" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory while they play a video of Sue and her Sister. This scene is amazing, I know I'm gushing over this episode but there are times where I hate Glee and there are times like this where I fall back in love with it. Of course the episode ending with Sue welcoming Becky back to the Cheerios blaming her dismissal on menopause and promotes her to captain, all Sue asked for is a hug and in a great TV moment Becky hugs her tight and Sue takes a deep breath smelling the shampoo and getting her ten seconds she so much wanted. Magic :)

After watching the episode I surfed over to read my blog. I know the blog is meant to just do a recap. It always talks about Brittany and Santana & Kurt and Blaine, I usually get a good laugh because I truly love Britana. The person who writes the blog loves Kurt, even mentioning in this recap about the only person she wants to defend against another character is Kurt. She even gushes about Kurt's singing in last night's episode and his choreography and his outfit (um I just need to say this and I share this feeling with a lot of friends, Kurt lives in Ohio right? Someone tell the costume designer to tone it down a bit). There was a whole paragraph about his outfit! I love the character Kurt, I like so many gay people are happy to see an out gay character on TV but I feel like the writers are going to far with the Kurt angst. The show is truly an ensemble and now since Chris Cofler won a golden globe it seems other characters are taking a backseat to Kurt. Last night's episode was about Sue's lose and my blog writer I so much love put Kurt into it more than needed. I totally for acceptance but I don't feel for the character Kurt, I did before but now it's becoming too much of a character...It's not real anymore. Kurt's bully Dave Korovsky at this point is a more interesting character, his struggle is silent and more powerful than Kurt's. Of course this is my opinion and all though it frustrates me at times I will always read my Glee recap blog.

So all in all Sue I love you and sadly Kurt I'm a little tired of you for right now, I know I'll come around again because there will be a point when the writers will make me love you again.

Crackbook

Here's a little monologue I wrote, I think this explains it all LOL.

The Man at Starbucks: By now I'm sure you all have seen the movie "The Social Network." I've got to say I loved it so much but in a way it's kind of sad. Does anyone ever meet anyone in person anymore? And when did a friend request replace a simple hello. Well I'm not going to lie I LOVE FACEBOOK. It truly is a great thing to keep connected to old friends and keep tabs on the people in your life. I say keep tabs but most people refer to it as Facebook stalking. 
Now before Facebook there was a simple thing called Myspace, I have to say that's where my social network addiction started. A friend of mine was like, you have to check out this website it's like your own personal website and you can reconnect with old friends. So, like if my friends jumped off a bridge I joined Myspace. I actually found it pretty fun. I reconnected with old friends and then suddenly this random thing started to happen. People I didn't know started requesting me as a friend. It was cool and scary. Most people were like "I saw you on my cousin's high school friends friends list" or the dreaded, "I know you were totally wasted last night but it was really cool meeting you."
First came people who wanted to be your friend and then it became your friends playing Myspace matchmaker. You found yourself at 2am Myspace chatting with someone who your friends thought you would be perfect with. I have to admit it was easier than going to a bar, but then the 20 extra pounds I packed on sitting at a table at Starbucks drinking latte's glued to laptop didn't help. After many Myspace failed fix-ups, one actually seemed like it was going to work out. I met someone, he seemed really cool, yes he seemed really cool. We liked the same things and clicked. We chatted, then we called each other and then finally met in person. It was great I saw him across the bar and I swear Air Supply's Making Love out of Nothing at All was playing in my head. I thought this was it! I win! I found someone, it went great for a while and I found myself checking my Myspace 40 times a day and checking his too. Now on Myspace when you would go onto someone's page a song they chose would play, to this day I still can't listen to "Superfreak" without thinking about him. Then something happened, I became that crazy person who questioned everything I saw on his Myspace. See that's the problem with Social Networks they make easy for insecure people like me to go crazy over the tiniest little thing. Needless to say that relationship ended.
I totally became a different person after that, I swore I wouldn't date anyone I found on Myspace that is until the birth of Facebook. This took Social Networking to the next level because you were tricked into thinking that Facebook was for classy adults and professionals. I mean that's how it started but then it turned into a new Myspace. So there I was at Starbucks sucking down latte's glued to my laptop. And guess what, once you switch to Facebook you have to friend request all those 500 people you had on Myspace. But I stuck to my guns and didn't date anyone I found on Facebook, I couldn't I mean last time I almost turned into Glenn Close, thank goodness my ex didn't own a rabbit. I'm not gonna lie I flirted, A LOT but I truly didn't show any interest in someone unless I actually met them in person first. So I stopped falling for a friend request and turned my Starbuck's time into actual alone time. I could sit there for hours relaxing, reading or just writing.
It's funny all this time I spent at Starbucks made me a regular and the staff knew me by name, they knew my order and in the middle of all this social network craziness I made friends, without friend requests. I thouht to myself I should either work here or date someone who works here and then he was hired...


Total fiction, but somewhat funny. But truly scary because Myspace and Facebook does this to people LOL

Reality TV = Crack

If you are my friend and if you are reading this you most likely are. So you know I love reality TV. A lot of people ask me, why? Most people think that people watch reality TV to feel better about themselves. That maybe the case for some people...some sad depressed people...but not me. I watch it because it's so entertaining. It really is a look at a little slice of America, whether it be New Jersey, Coupons, Swamps, Hoarding, Singing or Dancing. I know what everyone is thinking...they are not a real look...it's all about editing!!!! Well of course it is, no one wants to see the "Real" Housewives, they want to see the trashy side of them, how boring would the Real Housewives of New Jersey be if we only saw them shopping and getting manis & pedis? No, like everyone else I want to see all the table flipping, weave pulling, country club chasing amazingness that is New Jersey! If we didn't have the editing it would be interesting. Like if my life was a reality TV show it wouldn't be interesting unless I had a really good editor, I mean I'm sure it would be funny for some but let's take an experience I had on a farm recently and let's look at it how it happened and how the story would go if it was edited...shall we?

This past Saturday I went Molly McGrath's Father's farm "Harmony Acres" near Saratoga Lake. We were there to borrow a post-hole digger and a rake. I was putting up a fence at my apartment...yes I can build, although the raising of the fence in the rain by two gay guys and Molly McGrath would make awesome reality TV the farm adventure would be a better edit. So Molly and I arrived at the farm, it was sprinkling a little but it was still a nice day. While we were at the farm gathering supplies we also needed to take a publicity picture of Molly for a show she is doing and since I freaking love animals I needed to visit with goats, horses, donkeys and my favorite, the alpaca. So we pull up and find a little place to snap some pictures. They came out okay but the wind was blowing and Molly's hair was kind of a wreck (by the way, Molly if you read this, we need to do a redo). That went pretty quick and then I got to see the cutest little miniature horse that was I'm going to guess a month old...so cute, a pregnant donkey, three crazy goats and mini sheep that make noises like pigs. They were all cute but on my last visit I got to see an alpaca, actually I got to feed the alpaca last time and it totally took a treat from my lips, I love those animals. Molly and I took the little walk over to the white fence near a hillside where the alpaca, mini horses and a donkey called home. We of course snapped a couple publicity pictures of Molly on the fence (Molly did I mention we need a redo?). Molly of course called out to the animals (insert Molly's dolphin noise here) but they didn't come running like they did last time. I really wanted to see the alpaca...who's name by the way is "Al." So after a couple minutes Molly opened the gate and we headed towards the lean-to that the animals spend most of their time. Molly of course was wearing cowboy boots and I of course was wearing converse...imagine that many animals and JJ trying to avoid stepping in piles of alpaca poop. We got the lean-to and Molly said "I don't get it, where are they?" I was sad. Then Molly turned to me and screamed. Al the alpaca came running up behind me with the other animals. I froze, he had this kind of "I'm either gonna spit on you" or "Rape you" look in his eyes! Molly instructed me to walk slow and not to run because he will "Hump" you...yeah that was a rape look I saw moments before. So we started our slow trek down towards the gate, Al followed slowly behind. A couple mini horses came close to us and Al charged towards them. Molly then said "Quicker, alpaca's protect their surroundings." My slow walking turned into swift walk and dodging of alpaca poop, a lot of "Damn, alpaca poop" "Wow that was a big one" "Your Dad feeds them corn?" was heard. We finally got to the fence and all was well. The rain fell and we were safe. I said goodbye to the once friendly Al the alpaca and we left. That was reality of the situation.

Now, if my life was a reality show the episode teaser would go something like this.

Announcer: "This week on the Real Gays of Saratoga Springs."

Molly: "Let's go take the pictures at my Dad's Farm"

JJ: "Okay, what's the name if his farm again?'

Molly: "Harmony Acres" (thunder sound effect)

Interior of Molly's Car. JJ and Molly are driving and it's raining hard. We hear thunder. They pull up to the farm we see the sign "Harmony Acres" through the front window of the car, thunder sound effect.

Molly: This weather sucks.

JJ: I know but I need to see Al the alpaca. (cut to Molly's dog Cherry who has been sitting in the back seat, Cherry gives a look of terror upon hearing the name Al)

Molly and JJ leave the car. JJ snaps a couple pictures of Molly. They are seen visiting a new born mini horse)

JJ: Awe look it's a Tiny!

Molly: I know Tiny!

JJ: Where's Al?

Molly: Out back.

Thunder sound effect. We see quick close ups of the mini horse running, the pregnant donkey kicking and the goats jumping up and banging the stall doors. Cut to Molly and JJ at the fence. Molly calls and no animals come.

Molly: Where are they?

Molly and JJ enter the enclosure the walk up to the lean-to.

Molly: I don't get it? (Thunder, eerie music and a scream from Molly is heard. Al the alpaca stands behind JJ, staring)

Molly VO: Don't move, walk slow.

JJ VO: Alapac Poop! Corn! Big!

We cut to Al chasing the other animals and a VO of Molly screaming and more thunder is heard. We see JJ running. A noise of an Alpaca scream is heard.

END OF TEASER.

I mean come on that would of been amazing right? Well actually the real one is funnier, wait does that mean my life would make a good reality show? Mental note call Bravo TV and pitch idea to Andy Cohen.

Blogger? Me? No!

I read a lot of blogs. I do. Mostly at work because I have a really boring job, not so much boring but a lot of down time. So in between the dumb questions "What is the best shampoo you have?" or "I know you are a guy but do you know anything about the hair products you carry?" I read my share of blogs.

My partner has a blog and a couple of my friends have blogs so I thought, "Why the hell not?" Contrary to popular belief...I'm funny. And if you don't learn anything from my ramblings you will at least leave my blog smiling and laughing. I mean where else can you hear about the craziness of a gay bearcub from Saratoga Springs, that is unless you go to Circus Cafe on any day that ends in Y.

So as they used-to say before each movie in the 90's, "Sit back and relax, enjoy the show."