Four years ago I got a lapband. I was tipping the scales at
330lbs and was unhappy with my body. At that time that’s all I was unhappy
with. I was always an outgoing person and never had any troubles socially but
my health was not so good. I had high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I decided
to go to Ellis Bariatric for a consultation and in October of that year I had a
lapband put in. By the February of the following year I lost 113lbs. I finally
had more energy and was on a healthy path. Then in what seemed one day my
lapband and I started to disagree. The healthy food I started eating seemed
like a fight to keep down. I thought it was me. Over the next four years it
seemed like an uphill battle just to keep food down. I was told there is a 6
month trial and error period but I never thought it would go any longer. I got
frustrated and spent the next couple of years at the Bariatric Center trying to
get my band fills right. Just when it seemed like it was I would then end up in
the bathroom for an hour. I gave up and slowly the weight came back on. My
health was going downhill and my energy too. I didn’t know where to turn
anymore, I went to a consultation at another Bariatric Center for a revision
surgery but it never panned out and by panned out I mean the doctor scared the
hell out of me. Frustrated again I figured I would have to live with this band
forever.
One day my Mother said “why don’t you just go back to
Ellis?” I wanted to try someplace new because I felt like I failed them and
myself. I knew surgery wasn’t a magic wand, I knew the band was just a tool but
I was not healthy. So this past December I went back. I put my pride away and
walked through the doors again. I was greeted with friendly faces and instantly
knew I was starting on a positive journey.
The one thing I can take away from my visits is that it’s
not just me. I thought for the past couple years that I was the only going
through this. I’ve seen so many people have such success with the band but I
found out it’s not just me. More lapbands are coming out than going in. I will
always wonder if I failed the lapband or the lapband failed me…in my heart or
hearts I believe we failed each other.
On April 8th I will be going to Ellis Hospital
for a revision surgery. I’m having my lapband removed and having gastric
bypass. I know some people are out there thinking “well, if it didn’t work the
first time what makes you think it’s going to work a second time?” The answer I
have for them is “I don’t know, I hope it will but like anything it’s not an
instant fix, but I know that I can’t live like this anymore.” It’s going to be
a long road but it will be a healthy road. Unlike last time this time around I
know what’s coming. I have the full support of my fiance, friends and family…I’m
looking forward to the healthier new me. The best part about this is I’m not
doing it alone, a very good friend of mine is have surgery tomorrow and it will
be great to have a surgery buddy for support! Here’s to a new JJ in 2014!
P.S. I have to say good bye to one of my dearest dearest
friends…the Long Island Iced Tea…I have to find a lower calorie drink…so my
friends, I leave that up to you for a good suggestion!
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